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Prisoner of The Mind

I want to let go. I want to let go and be free and be happy and all of that, but my brain just won’t let me. Late at night, when normal minds shut down or ease up to rest, my brain is still whirring between my ears, thoughts flying back and forth across my mind. My brain processes thoughts and memories too quickly. So quickly that after it has processed all of my thoughts and memories, it doesn’t know what to do with them. My brain’s garbage disposal is still clogged up with the thoughts from earlier that morning. Which means that thoughts, memories especially, just sit there in the middle of my mind, being replayed over and over again. Every memory, especially the bad or embarrassing ones, are stuck in the forefront of my mind for hours, days even.
Every time I close my eyes, the one thing that I don’t want to think about sits waiting for me. Every time I try to have a quiet, sincere moment, my brain is too buzzing with energy for me to enjoy it.

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