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When other couples find out that my husband and I cuddle when we go to sleep almost every night, we are usually faced with a general consensus of “Really? How can you do that every night?”. There are many ways to answer that question but the point is actually quite simple.
Darrell and I dated for 3 years before we got together. Three years. It wasn’t like we were having sex or even had our own apartments or cars. We were in high school, and our visitation rules were strict. The only thing we could really count on was seeing each other at school and church. When we hung out outside of that we had to take the bus (which means it would take at least two hours to get wherever we were going and two hours back – and we still had curfew) and we could only hang out in public places.
It’s not like It was torture or that our parents were trying to hurt us and keep us apart or anything. We just made a vow that we would stay pure before we got married. In order to keep that vow we had to admit that neither of us had iron will. Meaning there were some things we just couldn’t do. And booking hotel rooms or sneaking around for quickies were definitely some of those lines that we wouldn’t cross. That being said, most nights Darrell and I would talk on the phone until we fell asleep (I still remember mornings waking up with 8 hours + on the call time), during those nights we would talk and dream about our future together.
Two months into dating, Darrell let me (and everyone else) know that I was going to be his wife (if you’re surprised, Imagine how I felt). After that, we decided that (Lord willing) we wanted to get married and start a life together whenever God allowed. We would spend hours on the phone dreaming of what God had in store for the rest of our lives. We talked about finally being able to just hold each other as we go to sleep, being able to wake up and look over and … Bam! – there is nothing like waking up next to the one that you truly love- we would see each other smile and live happily ever after. We dreamed of our home, our children… we imagined the testimony that we could tell other young people, our true testimony of how good God really is. Three years of dreaming and hoping and wishing. There were so many times we just wanted to get hitched already. There were so many times that we questioned why we vowed purity in the first place. We worked so hard, and we prayed even harder. We waited and we dreamed and one day, God made a way.
After we got married, we would think back to those nights; so close, yet so far away. When we could hear each other breathing through the phone but we couldn’t touch or cuddle or wake up together. When we finally got married and we finally got that chance, you can bet that we definitely took advantage of it. All of the waiting and the work had finally paid off. That’s why we try to cuddle every night. Because we craved each other’s closeness for so long and now that we have it, we aren’t going to waste a minute. I almost feel empty when my husband’s arms aren’t wrapped around me when I go to sleep. Yes, I am definitely spoiled; but, I’m also blessed and I’m not letting it go to waste.
So that’s it, that’s how we cuddle every night. We think back to the time when cuddling every night (or period) wasn’t possible. We also remember, that the next day isn’t promised; and we want to savor every single day (and night) that we have together.
It may be cliche, and I’m sure older people will snort and say that we’re naive and that the honeymoon period won’t last forever but… I’m praying that even when the honeymoon period does end, the love won’t (and neither will the cuddling).